Living in the bus at the Joy and Rick Church house … didn’t tell Jackie where I was going … wanted Paula to be part of kid’s life … explain

It was in the first part of 1991, that I began to understand that I had made a mistake in keeping Brittany and Joshua away from their mother.

After I had thrown out the bigotry of which my religion had formed in my heart towards everyone that was not a member, what I believed at the time was “the church of the Lamb of God”, I was able to clearly see that Paula had every right to see the children and be involved in their life. I became extremely sorrowful for not allowing her to do so. I knew Paula was a good woman- I was married to her for three years.

I came to the conclusion that if I had been married to me at the time Paula was, I would have wanted a divorce too. Thus having humbled myself enough to realize I was no better than Paula or anyone else.

In February of 1991, Jackie and I were living in Kent, Washington, next to the home of some wonderful, non-religious people who adored our family as much as we adored them.

I decided to drive all the way to Columbia Falls, Montana, find Paula, and tell her I was sorry for keeping the kids from her, make amends, and invite her out to see the kids and take them on a visit.

I traveled to Montana thinking the whole way how wonderful it would be to work things out with Paula.

When I reached Columbia Falls, I called Paula’s parents and asked for her number. Paula had recently married Carl Ladenburg, and they lived in a house in Columbia Falls.

Upon hearing my voice, Paula was a little stunned. She mentioned that she had given up hope of ever seeing her children again. I told her that I wanted her to see them and that I wanted us to be friends. We made arrangements for me to go to the Ladenburg’s house and discuss how we would set it up for Paula and Carl to see the kids.

I thought the meeting went great. I told Paula that I was sorry that I had kept the kids from her, but that I would hope that she and Carl would only respect my lifestyle and not try to entice the kids away from me, because of their hate and personal prejudices. They promised me that they just wanted to see the kids and that they had no intentions, ever, to take them away from me.

We set up a time for the Ladenburgs to come to Washington and see the kids. I shook Carl’s hand, gave Paula a hug and left to go back to Washington.

I really felt good about what I had done, and was equally peaceful about the promises Paula and Carl made to allow me to raise the children how I thought proper.