HOW TO DESTROY THE MISGUIDED PROPAGANDA THAT THE EARTH IS WARMING TOO FAST BECAUSE OF HUMAN CO2 EMISSIONS—AS A CHILD … And yeah, I’d LOVE any so-called scientist who touts the negative effects of climate change to confront me and make a challenge:
CHILD: Hey Dad! You’re a brilliant scientist, Right? You’ve been to college and got four PhDs, right?
DAD: Certainly! A man cannot be an expert unless he goes to college and receives a degree.
CHILD: When was the hottest day ever recorded in the United States?
DAD: July 10, 1913.
CHILD: When was the hottest day ever recorded in Europe?
DAD: July 10, 1977.
CHILD: Hey Dad? Do they allow you to get a PhD in climate change without knowing basic math?
CHILD: So, for 108 years the Earth got cooler than it was in 1913 in the USA; and for 44 years the Earth has gotten cooler in Europe?
DAD: There’s much more to it than that!
CHILD: Explain it to me. And while you’re at it, can you tell me if there is such a being as a god who punishes people with things like hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, fires, and other natural climate-based catastrophes? Because it’s either man or God who is causing all these things. Which is it, Dad? Because in the stories that you read to me, God punished the ancient Americans around 34 A.D. and destroyed millions of people, including millions of little children my age, by hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, fires, and other natural climate-based catastrophes, to kill all the wicked ones before he came in his glory as Jesus Christ. Wasn’t that one of the stories you read to me out of the Book of Mormon, Dad?
DAD: Shut up and go to bed!
CHILD: But, Dad, I just want you to explain it all to me so it makes sense.
DAD: If God wanted us to know all of His ways and mysteries, God would tell us.
CHILD: How would God tell us?
DAD: God has chosen and ordained priesthood leaders who tell us what God wants us to know.
CHILD: Then why don’t our church leaders tell us what to do about climate change when we attend church or listen to conferences?
DAD: I TOLD YOU TO GO TO BED … NOW!!!
CHILD: But anyways … Goodnight Dad. Love you!
DAD: Son, on average, the temperatures across the globe are rising. It’s not just based on a single temperature recorded long ago.
CHILD: You told me that the Arctic is melting. Right?
DAD: Yes. This is just one of the warning signs that we must change things, so that the earth stops warming.
CHILD: So, humans are the main cause of global warming?
CHILD: Now, Dad. You taught me that millions of years ago, there was no Arctic; that there was once a lush and green tropical climate there, based on the scientific exploration that you and your other PhD experts have concluded. Were there humans living then that caused the Earth to warm so much?
DAD: I SAID GET YOUR ASS TO BED BEFORE YOU GET A BEATING!
CHILD: (Hiding a S&M sex magazine behind his back and under his bed.) I’ll take the beating.
CHILD: Uh … Dad. Before that beating, can I ask one more question?
CHILD: How many solar panels or batteries will it take to make an airplane fly in the air and carry lots of people? Won’t all those batteries make the plane too heavy to fly?
DAD: COME HERE FOR THAT BEATING!
CHILD: With pleasure.
CHILD: Dad … I still want that beating, but … You know all those renewable energy things you and your friends are trying to replace fossil fuels, like all those electric cars? Why are they called “electric” cars, that have to be charged by electricity, and the electricity that charges the cars is created by fossil fuels? And, Dad, why didn’t China or Russia, the other two major powers in this world, attend the recent world meeting on climate change issues? Do they know something that we don’t?
DAD: (Chasing the kid through the house …) If I don’t catch you and beat you, God is going to punish you for mocking me and our church leaders!
CHILD: (Smiling) How big is God’s belt?
CHILD: (While running throughout the house being chased by his red-faced dad.) But Dad! You and your friends came up with Ethanol in order to help climate change; then you tell everyone that we shouldn’t be cutting down the rain forest; and then you support growing lots of sugar in order to create Ethanol, which a company that you invested in needed more room to grow sugar cheaply in Brazil, so they needed to cut down more forest in order to make more Ethanol. Did you pay for that belt that you are going to use on me from the money you made on the Stock Market, investing in the companies that are cutting down the rain forest to grow sugar to make Ethanol that will help reduce climate change … I can’t wait to get that belt!
CHILD: (Being beat by his dad.) Ooooooooh, that feels good! And by the way, I don’t like going to church and listening to people like you who don’t make any sense. I listened to this Christopher dude who agrees that humans cause climate change, even that humans can learn to control climate. He also makes a lot of sense that humans actually did exist millions of years ago and were the ones who created a lush tropical environment in the Arctic so that people would travel there and enjoy all the animals in that World Park. I like the idea that humans will one day learn to control the weather and the climate.
DAD: YOU DESERVE THIS BEATING! DON’T LISTEN TO ANYONE THAT MAKES SENSE TO YOU! GOD DOESN’T MAKE SENSE BECAUSE HE’S GOD AND DOESN’T HAVE TO MAKE SENSE!
… And all the while the child is thinking of other ways that he can anger his dad so that he will continue to get beat by the belt, being a fanatic of S&M sexual behaviors.
CHRISTOPHER: I’D ABSOLUTELY LOVE TO DISCUSS CLIMATE CHANGE WITH ALL THOSE SCIENTISTS WHO BELIEVE THAT IT IS A BAD THING. IT’S NOT A BAD THING. IT COULD BE, BUT IF WE LEARN TO CONTROL CLIMATE CHANGE, WE WOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE LIFE ON EARTH EVEN A BETTER PLACE … JUST LIKE IT WAS DURING THE “GARDEN OF EDEN” WHEN ADAM AND EVE WERE RUNNING AROUND NAKED BECAUSE THERE WERE NO AREAS ON THE EARTH THAT WERE COLD.
Oh, my … the Real Truth™ … what a thing!
Oh, I have another thing that’s interesting about climate change, especially the idea that CO2 is bad.
I want to grow some tasty large tomatoes. Knowing that plants need CO2 from the air in order to grow properly, I wondered what the tomato farmers were doing to get more CO2 into their greenhouses. Yep, they pump in CO2 to make better tomatoes.
How about we grow lots of food all over the world, wherever we can, sucking most of the CO2 out of the air and into plants and trees that make great fruits and vegetables.
Yeah … let’s let the good information and the bad information grow on the Tree of Life until there is more good information making good fruit, then we can get rid of the bad.
“And as they begin to grow ye shall clear away the branches which bring forth bitter fruit, according to the strength of the good and the size thereof; and ye shall not clear away the bad thereof all at once, lest the roots thereof should be too strong for the graft, and the graft thereof shall perish, and I lose the trees of my vineyard.” (BOM, Jacob 5:65.)
If the Real Illuminati® did not trust in advanced technology as a “good branch grafted into a corrupt tree,” and then grafting in more information in an effort to “save the vineyard,” they would have never helped the USA produce nuclear military power to “clear away the bad” of Hitler’s Fascism.