My name is Holly Murdock. I was introduced to The Sealed Portion of The Book of Mormon 13 years ago. Having been raised in a Mormon family in a Mormon community in Idaho and actively participating in all the programs the church had offered throughout my life, I had been taught The Sealed Portion was a sequel to The Book of Mormon that would be revealed at a later time. I never imagined it would happen during my lifetime. I really hadn’t given it much thought.
I went to four years of Seminary in high school and attended religion classes during my two years at BYU. All of my scripture study had been mostly for assignments and grades. I made several attempts to read The Book of Mormon cover to cover. I lost interest about a third of the way every time. Consequently, I was really familiar with the story of Lehi’s family. I lost interest in any kind of book reading for pleasure after the sixth grade. I had other interests, like boys, parties, playing sports and actively doing things. I had voice lessons, piano lessons, homework, chores, etc.
Church was a lifestyle that evolved around social activities and meetings with other members of that group. The Mormon religion was something I was born into and taught day by day. I did whatever my parents and family did which happened to be what the majority of our community was doing also.
I loved it! As a child, I looked forward to Sunday School and Primary. I got to see my friends and sing and do fun things, except for sitting still through long, hot meetings while grown ups talked, and talked, and talked. I have to admit though, church offered every opportunity you can think of to develop and show your talents. For example, public speaking, acting, singing, playing sports, teaching, directing, etc. It provided us with a platform to perform and be noticed.
Anyway, you get the idea. It was a way of life — to lead me, guide me, and walk beside me until I had my own family to lead and guide and walk beside. My mother would often remind me if I didn’t go to church and follow the commandments, she would be held accountable as a parent for not teaching me and a millstone would be hung around her neck and she would be drowned in the depth of the sea, according to the scripture. Yikes!
I followed the program religiously up until I went to college and after that my activity and involvement was sporadic. I was no longer a dedicated member. It wasn’t until my only son turned eight years old that the old “millstone around the neck” scripture came to my mind and I believed it was my responsibility to give my son a good foundation and teach him about his Heavenly Father. Hence, Lance was baptized and I attempted to take him to church. It was really a challenge to go for the whole three hours. Especially, when my husband was enjoying his free agency to do whatever he wanted on Sundays, without any disagreement from me. He worked hard as a cement finisher and he deserved to spend his free time as he desired.
Steve and I had a happy marriage. I won’t go into all the details, but thanks to a very wise and gifted marriage counselor and our desire to not give up on each other, we survived the challenges of second marriages, intrusive in-laws, his jealous bully of a father and mother, my critical mother, a scorned ex-wife, his two children caught in the middle and acting out, along with his and my generational mental sicknesses that took away from our happiness. We worked whole-heartedly with our counselor to correct our negative, hurtful ways of dealing with things and to heal ourselves and our marriage. It took months and lots of effort and forgiveness to rebuild our trust in each other, but it was well worth it. We learned to never take each other or our marriage for granted ever again and it brought us closer in every way. It would seem like a miracle but we knew, in our hearts, we had been drawn to each other from the beginning by an affinity to sustain and literally save each other during this lifetime.
I can’t describe our happy marriage any better than the words of a song that Clint Black wrote called,
“Something that We Do”
I remember well the day we wed
I can see that picture in my head
I still believe the words we said
Forever will ring true
Love is certain, love is kind
Love is yours and love is mine
But it isn’t something that we find
It’s something that we do
It’s holding tight, lettin’ go
It’s flying high and laying low
Let your strongest feelings show
And your weakness, too
It’s a little and a lot to ask
An endless and a welcome task
Love isn’t something that we have
It’s something that we do
We help to make each other all that we can be
Though we can find our strength and inspiration independently
The way we work together is what sets our love apart
So closely that you can’t tell where I end and where you start
It gives me heart remembering how
We started with a simple vow
There’s so much to look back on now
Still it feels brand-new
We’re on a road that has no end
And each day we begin again
Love’s not just something that we’re in
It’s something that we do
Love is wide, love is long
Love is deep and love is strong
Love is why I love this song
And I hope you love it too
I remember well the day we wed
I can see that picture in my head
Love isn’t just those words we said
It’s something that we do
There’s no request too big or small
We give ourselves, we give our all
Love isn’t someplace that we fall
It’s something that we do
It wasn’t until my mid 40’s when I sat down with The Book of Mormon to really read it and put it to the test, so to speak. I wanted to read it, study it, and feel it. I concentrated on making sure I wouldn’t be distracted and my reading time was usually early morning, before sunrise with my cup of creamy coffee in my hand and a fresh uncluttered mind. These days were happy days, I felt positive and refreshed. The words resonated with me, the message was powerful, it changed me and I felt more connected to everything good. I felt so much so, I didn’t want the book to end and I cried and blubbered to my husband who said, “Honey, don’t cry, why don’t you just read it again.” I had deep convictions in the transformation and power of this book and I knew I would take every opportunity to share my beautiful experience if and when the subject ever came up.
I knew, at that time, that anything associated with that book was the work of God and I loved it with all my heart. From then on, the path I chose to follow was by my own free will and choice. I wouldn’t choose it just to please someone else. I would choose whatever was right for ME and what made ME happy.
Soon thereafter, I made the choice to go to the temple. Steve and I attended the temple preparedness class together. That was the beauty of our relationship. We supported each other in ALL our individual endeavors without inhibiting each other’s free agency. Ward members made comments to me about working on Steve to get him to the temple. A friend in the ward mentioned this to me one day and my response was, “Honestly, I like him just the way he is, I don’t want him to change anything.” That’s a pretty odd statement coming from a Mormon girl, but it was the truth. He was perfect for me.
I proceeded to do my own thing and made a conscious effort to “let my light shine.” I attended church, fulfilled my callings and participated in ward and stake activities. I made a point to befriend women who were alone, without a husband to sit by, (like me) and I waved at them to come and join me. I put my heart and soul into my visiting teaching and viewed it more as forming friendships than teaching.
I continued to sing and perform when I was asked and I was blessed with many opportunities that were faith promoting and uplifting. All of which brought me a lot of happiness.
One of the most rewarding experiences of my life was serving in a simulated Primary program for special needs adults. Imagine a chapel where approximately 300 special people are seated and singing Primary songs. I was initially called to be a teacher. Two teachers were assigned to each class and the first class I attended, I was able to observe and take it all in. I was well received by each of the 10 special child-like class members and I was more than touched by their countenance. I returned home that day weeping.
I was there every Monday afternoon. I never felt more at home, where I could be me, the real me. They were genuine, their love was pure and glowing. I thought of it and often referred to it as visiting the Celestial Kingdom a couple of hours every week. After two years of teaching, I was called to be the music director. Their sweet voices singing and their bright faces looking up at me moved me to tears sometimes. Especially, when we rehearsed and performed the annual Christmas program. I often thought of the day I would meet them in the next life and they would come up to me and say, “Remember me? You were my teacher.” And I would say, “Oh no, it’s the other way around. You were mine.” I truly loved these brothers and sisters, more than I can say.
Moving forward, let’s talk about The Sealed Portion. Like I mentioned earlier, I was introduced to The Sealed Portion in 2007. The first MWAW book I read however, was Sacred, Not Secret, because “curious minds want to know.” I was so interested and excited to know what the temple endowment was all about, and the meaning behind the rituals because it was a mystery in my mind and there was no one to explain it. Once I started reading the book, I couldn’t put it down. Finally, what a blessing to behold. I pondered the explanations and I asked myself, “Could this be?” It sure made sense to me and the pieces of the puzzle all fit together, perfectly. I was excitedly pleased with what I had read.
Now, I was ready to read The Sealed Portion. I handled it the same way as when I read The Book of Mormon. I wanted to understand it, study it and feel it. I read it when my mind was uncluttered and I could concentrate. I didn’t have my creamy coffee in my hand because I had given up coffee, but I found out I needed a Kleenex in hand to wipe my tears. Many a day I read and wept for joy. Lead me, guide me, walk beside me and forever teach me the words I’ve been longing to hear. My heart wanted to burst. I kept asking myself. “Why me? Why me?” It was beyond exhilarating. Again, my convictions were undeniable, another beautiful work of God. But oh! My path, the one of my own choosing, was getting way more more interesting. No one I knew would believe this.
I must now mention where I was at in my life when I learned about The Sealed Portion. I was ready to receive this message at this time. It had only been six months since Steve, my husband, was killed suddenly in a freak accident at work.
We had just moved to a new state, a new town, a new job, and a new life. My love, my life, my sunshine, my rock, my everything, had been taken away from me. I was lost without him. What was to become of me now? My heart was broken, my spirit was contrite. The worst thing that could possibly happen had just happened. Who’s going to save me now? I was brought to my knees. I prayed earnestly every night for guidance, for my son, for my husband and for a glimpse to see that Steve was okay, that he was loved and appreciated. I needed a glimpse, just a glimpse to comfort me.
We had decided to move to Saint George for a better job opportunity for Steve. Lance had graduated from high school and moved out of the nest on his own. He stayed in Idaho Falls with his friends. My dad, 92, and my mother, 85, moved to Saint George with us so they could be near family and have the care and support they needed. My older brother and his wife had also relocated to Saint George and my other brother and his wife, in Arizona, stayed in close contact to give their support.
At the time of Steve’s fatal accident, I was blessed with family close by to watch over me during this difficult time. I couldn’t have asked for more love and support from my family and friends. But, I could only expect this for a short time, then life goes on. I was facing a step into the unknown, a rebirth.
I took my beloved dog, Serenity, on her morning walk, the sun was just coming up over the mountain there in Saint George. The scenery was magnificent, the mountains were grand. I whispered to myself, as I put one foot in front of the other, “What am I going to do now? Where do I go from here?” Amazingly, a thought immediately came to my mind like a distinct voice that said, “The only one that can save you, is you.” It was a shove to get me in gear and take charge. I had to make decisions that only I could make, choices that were right for me.
It was only a week or two after that, a job offer to work with children at a private school literally fell into my lap. A neighbor, who had thought of me repeatedly, in my dire circumstances, had recommended me for the position. I was stunned, and I asked for a day or two to think about it. It seemed like the right thing to do and I accepted the offer. I wasn’t disappointed. I found being around children was the perfect remedy for my emotional state. They were delightful, full of life, creative and fun. They were my sunbeams, my “rays of sunshine” every day.
A month later, Serenity gave birth to a litter of five beautiful puppies. Manna was falling from heaven to feed and nourish my lost and lonely soul. Not only did I have the company of delightful children all day, I was welcomed home by little playful critters that depended on me. I helped Serenity care for and nurture those loveable and cuddly little miracles every day for the next nine weeks. Giving them away to new homes was hard, oh my, was it hard for me, but I knew I couldn’t keep them and they had fulfilled their purpose for my survival.
My parents moved to a small, comfortable condominium where both my brother and I could look after them. I decided to hire the painters to come back and finish painting the bedrooms we had left unpainted when we initially moved into the house. One of the painters, Jesse, who had been there before, was saddened to hear about the death of my husband and he was genuinely kind and sympathetic. He later relayed the sad news to a friend, Brad, who had been with the painting crew on their first visit. Lo and behold, a couple weeks later, my doorbell rang andwhen I answered the door, there stood Brad, and out of nowhere, without even thinking, I said, “I knew you’d come back to see me.”
Come to find out, Brad had been troubled by the news of Steve’s bizarre accident while on a job. Getting run over by a huge forklift at a construction site was unimaginable. His kindness and concern consoled me as I relayed to him how the accident had happened. As a friend, he explained to me how even though Steve experienced terror, as the incident was happening to him, he didn’t suffer physical pain (Christopher has explained this to us). He told me, with sweet emotion, he was sure Steve felt disoriented for a split second and then his consciousness told him in a sigh of relief, “Thank goodness, it’s not real.” I cried. Can you imagine what these profound heartfelt words did for me? This was the glimpse I had been praying for.
Brad turned out to be a good friend and I enjoyed his company. We had many a discussion about the Mormon church and I knew he had been on a mission but I wondered why he was no longer interested in attending church. I said, “You lost your testimony.” He smiled, and then responded with, “What’s a testimony?” That got me thinking.
One question after another and I soon realized I didn’t know much and if I did, I couldn’t explain it. I wasn’t a scriptorian, I had never been a Gospel Doctrine teacher and even though I had read the whole series of “The Work and the Glory” by Gerald N. Lund (Lol), I didn’t know much about church history either. When it came right down to it, I just knew what I knew and became a believer because I had been raised in the Mormon church my whole life. I had read the Bible stories from the time I was a child about Noah and the Ark, Jonah and the Whale, and I had a flannel board story about the Prodigal Son. I had sung and performed many sacred songs and bore my testimony lots of times since I was a child.
I told Brad I hadn’t analyzed it, I couldn’t describe it, it just was what it was! It was a feeling deep inside. There had been moments I had doubts (doesn’t everybody?) and asked myself the question, “What if all of this isn’t really true?” There had been times when the actions of leaders and church policies had troubled me. I remembered times I had thought, “Now wait a minute, that isn’t what Jesus would do.” Our discussion led to the conclusion and realization that I really didn’t know anything for sure, except for one thing. I had an undeniable conviction of the truthfulness of The Book of Mormon.
Brad agreed with me that The Book of Mormon was a powerful book and that he loved it too. Then, he revealed he was referring to The Sealed Portion part and that he had read it a dozen times because when he finished it, he would start all over again. I was intrigued. I didn’t know it had been translated. I thought he must love it a lot if he had read it so many times. It wasn’t long before I asked to see the book he was talking about.
That step into the unknown was a big step, I was hesitant, but I wanted to see it for myself. My common sense told me that the words of Moroni regarding The Book of Mormon would apply to The Sealed Portion too.
4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.
5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.
I never regretted reading The Book of Mormon and The Sealed Portion. I would have loved to share it with my family and friends but no one ever asked me what changed my life. Why I quit going to church. Why I am so happy and free. If they had, I would have told them I trusted in the promise given to the woman at the well.
“But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up unto everlasting life.” John 4:14
I continue to read and study the MWAW books, watch the videos and listen to our messenger as he teaches us and gives us instruction. I appreciate this opportunity and am forever grateful to be included as one of his friends and supporters.
I would like to share one more life changing experience I’ve had.
Brad and I took a trip to New Zealand together some years ago and we lived there for seven weeks in the city where the Mormon temple is located called Hamilton. What a beautiful place. I could have stayed and felt very much at home living there. We lived in a small furnished apartment and our only belongings were the clothes we brought in our suit cases and a few household necessities we purchased after we got there, like bedding, towels, etc. We also bought a small inexpensive cd player because we love listening to beautiful music and along with books, we could check out cd’s from the library. While doing the dishes, I loved looking out the kitchen window at the neighbor’s home and beautiful yard including a big vegetable garden. Growing things there was easy and there was an abundance of delicious fresh fruit and vegetables. It was plush and green everywhere. We found a small rain forest while on a walk one day. The fresh clean oxygen was unbelievable. Who would have thought there would be a rain forest just down the street in the middle of a community?
Everyone hung their wash out on a clothesline which is something we don’t see here very often. No need for a car, they had a wonderful public transportation system that would take you anywhere on the island. A bus would come by every 20 minutes. We bought our groceries, went to the library, shopped at a few thrift stores (one of my favorite things to do), read books and listened to our music. We cooked most of our meals at home and played Yahtzee with our neighbor. Friends we had met invited us to their homes, they were neat and clean, freshly painted, the furniture didn’t match, the cups and saucers didn’t match, there were pillows on the couch and rugs on the floor for practical use. They had computers, tv’s and cell phones, but life was simpler and not so materialistic. It was peaceful and heavenly. I loved it. I couldn’t have been happier.
I, on the other hand, had a huge storage unit at home in the USA full of “stuff” because I had sold my house. I learned in those six weeks the basic necessities are all a person truly needs for a happy life.
The Humanity Party has the solutions to solve the world’s poverty. I accept this Marvelous Work as the real truth and path to peace and equality. I am not ashamed, embarrassed or reluctant to support and be associated with Christopher, The Real Illuminati, and their plan to make this world a better, more peaceful place. I love and support this work with all my heart. This is OUR work, we are here at this place and time to bring peace on earth and good will to men.
31When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory:
32And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats:
33And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left.
34Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:
35For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
36Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.
37Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?
38When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?
39Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?
40And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.
41Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels:
42For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink:
43I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not.
44Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee?
45Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.
46And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.
Here’s a picture of Steve. My sweetheart, my companion, my best friend. My Hero!