A New American Scripture—How and Why the Real Illuminati® Created the Book of Mormon
I am now, once again, and for the rest of my natural life, the official Spokesperson for the group now known as the Real Illuminati®.
The recent and final termination of all my personal relationships precipitated this group’s decision to once again announce and appoint me to act as their official Spokesperson, in all matters.
We will be releasing a public statement as a Press Release to this effect.
My contact information is and will remain: email@example.com.
(NOTE: If I receive an email that is not serious or relevant to the Real Illuminati® and their work—a Marvelous Work and a Wonder®—I will not respond. Any contact of a personal nature can be addressed to firstname.lastname@example.org.)